Thanksgiving is coming quickly and the winter holidays are just around the corner. The holidays are a time of great joy but sometimes, they can also be a time of anxiety and sadness. Oftentimes, we feel alone, and we miss loved ones. While holidays are not always easy, science and common sense suggest that there is one aspect of the holidays that offers something that can actually lift our spirits: expressing gratitude. Gratitude, a thankful appreciation for what we have, can decrease depression and is associated with greater happiness. Simply put, giving thanks makes us happier.
Science tells us that the action of being thankful has great benefits. Dr. Robert Emmons and Dr. Michael McCullough have done much of the research in this area. In one study, they asked three groups of participants to write a few sentences each week. One group wrote about things they were grateful for during the week. A second group wrote about daily irritations or things that had displeased them during the week. The third group wrote about events that had affected them (with no emphasis on them being positive or negative). After 10 weeks, those who wrote about gratitude were more optimistic and felt better about their lives than the other two groups. Surprisingly, those who wrote about gratitude had fewer doctor visits than those who focused on sources of aggravation.
Dr. Martin Seligman has also studied the phenomenon. He also divided subjects into two groups. One group had to think about and express gratitude by writing and delivering a letter of gratitude to someone. The other group had to write about early memories and how they may have affected them. When the assignment was to write about and express gratitude, participants immediately exhibited a significant increase in happiness scores. This impact was greater than that from any other intervention, with benefits lasting for a month!
How is it that giving thanks makes us happier? Our biology has one answer. According to a study published in the journal Frontiers in Psychology, gratitude stimulates the hypothalamus (a key part of the brain that regulates stress) and the ventral tegmental area (part of our “reward circuitry” that produces the sensation of pleasure). It also makes common sense that gratitude would be beneficial. By acknowledging the good in our lives, we remember that the source of that goodness lies, at least partially, outside ourselves. As a result, this understanding helps us connect to something greater than ourselves: God, nature, and our family and friends.
We can actively choose to practice gratitude in our daily lives. We can start with the practice of giving thanks privately:
It may help to just think about someone who has done something nice for us and mentally thank them.
Take a walk in nature or in your garden. As you do so, think about all the ways that our earth helps us sustain life to feel happier and more comfortable. Focus on feeling grateful for the fresh air and water, the natural beauty of a flower, or the peace that the ocean gives you.
Think about how you can live a life that conveys gratitude for all that you have. Avoid the overuse of water or electricity, recycle, donate to charity, volunteer to help the needy, work in an animal shelter, or clean up a natural area. Living gratefully encourages us to feel good about our lives and be more aware of our connection to nature.
Next, we can begin to focus on expressing our gratitude to others:
Write a thank-you note. Think of a person that has helped you in life. It may be a teacher, friend, parent, or mentor. Spend a few minutes thinking about how they have helped you. Then write them a heartfelt card, call or visit them to tell them how their help has improved your life. If you are no longer in contact, write the card anyway and then keep it to remind you to feel grateful.
You can make yourself happier and nurture your relationship with another person. Express your enjoyment and appreciation of that person’s impact on your life. Make a habit of sending at least one gratitude letter, note, or email a month. Once in a while, write one to yourself.
Consider keeping a gratitude diary. Write down a certain number of things you are thankful for each day. Even just one helps. That’s how your awareness and thankfulness will grow. You’ll be challenging yourself to find new things to be thankful for that perhaps you never noticed before.
In a nutshell, acting grateful can actually make us grateful and feel happier. Make gratitude a routine, independent of how you feel—and not just once a year during Thanksgiving, but all year long!
